A Change

We were used to be so closed.

I called him as brother as we are closed just like sister-brother.

At last, I felt in love with him without my knowing.

I know this was a false start. But I just can't get myself out.

We met each other every weekends, on the phone and texting everyday.

Just to make sure we kept in touch with each other everyday.

we wasn't couple, he wasn't love me, but I love him.

The feelings trapped deeply day by day.

But,

Everything was changed after my grandma was leaving me.

no calls, no text, not picking up calls, not replied in any text.

And of course I can do nothing to meet him as thing are changed in a sudden.

It has already been a month. We are a group of buddies which we used to hanging around. But none of them seems bother. Everyone was choose to be silent. Yap, my best friend was the only one who were helping me to solves the problem all the time. But failed. We can't forced. He might have his own predicament.

Hopefully everything comes brightness after the gloom. I don't wanna lost him.

I can't live without you guys. Especially YOU.

Just for you

In memories of beloved ah ma.

She's been leaving us for a month.

Guess she is dating with grandpa now that's she always so missed when she was with us.

She married at age 17 with 11 children. We used to be so lively when that's 'big festival' and every weekends. All the sons, sons-in-law, daughter, daughter-in-law, grandchild all gather together in a big bungalow.

But when she was getting older, Alzheimer's came silently without knowing. She was repeating and repeating have you eaten? The children never get her any treatments.

They felt annoying and started to abandoned her to nursing home. I felt heartache and useless because nothing can done for her.

No children were ever visit her during her nursing home stayed. We were so closed with her since she grew me up. Only the grandchildren were giving those tender, love and care to her.

She's getting depressed day by day. At last she's giving up herself, not taking any foods. She were only have sips or spoon when we was there.

What an old people needed is love. But sadly not in her.

Alzheimer + depressed ended with giving up.

She was my beloved Ah Ma.

She was leaving us peacefully on 28th of Jun, 2011 in a medical centre due to septicemia from the sacral sore.

She is now with her beloved husband happily.

You will always be missed. My dearest Ah Ma.

I miss you